It’s not the first time we’ve read this story, but the Wall Street Journal decided to round it up for us again:
[T]o lie you also have to keep the truth in mind, which involves multiple brain processes, such as integrating several sources of information and manipulating that information, according to Shawn Christ, a neuropsychologist at the University of Missouri-Columbia.
The ability to lie—and lie successfully—is thought to be related to development of brain regions that allow so-called “executive functioning,” or higher order thinking and reasoning abilities. Kids who perform better on tests that involve executive functioning also lie more.
The upshot of these stories is simple: leadership = lying. And I suspect that it is this narrative, increasingly popular, that informed many of the responses to Clay Shirky’s rant about women. He suggested that women needed to figure out ways to “behave like arrogant self-aggrandizing jerks”. He outlined a few calculated risks he took for himself, and the twitscape went a little apoplectic, deciding on one hand that what he meant was we should all behave like lying dicks, and that on the other hand all a woman has to do to be seen as dishonest is open her mouth.
[To be fair, most of the work done on how lying is attractive and a successful strategy only applies to men; in fact, most studies show that women who adopt similar strategies suffer both in the boardroom and the bedroom. And yeah, I just said "boardroom & bedroom". Put me on the Today Show.]
For all the sturm und drang over liars and lying – that it doesn’t contribute anything to culture, to ideas, to products; that it is inherently evil; that we shouldn’t do it – it seems to me that liars succeed because, quite simply, they get better press. We like liars – we promote and pay them more, we go to their movies, we listen to their music, we want to sleep with them, we hope to be invited to their parties. Liars lead an exciting, powerful life because they dare to do what we won’t. And besides, our culture rewards – dare I say, expects – these behaviors even as it derides them.
Way too long ago to discuss, I read this article in Psychology Today:
“Everyday lies are really part of the fabric of social life,” says DePaulo, a professor at the University of Virginia. While some lies damage relationships and destroy trust, other fibs fulfill important interpersonal functions, like smoothing over awkward situations or protecting fragile egos.
The developmental purpose argument has its limits, of course. As it turns out lying is a physically, psychologically and emotionally draining activity. But you know who is able to ward off these negative physiological effects? People in power.
‘Power, it seems, enhances the same emotional, cognitive, and physiological systems that lie-telling depletes. People with power enjoy positive emotions, increases in cognitive function, and physiological resilience such as lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Thus, holding power over others might make it easier for people to tell lies.’
Let’s face it, a lot of the time, liars are telling you what you want to hear: you’re a valuable member of the team, you can make your own way here, you’re pretty and smart, you can’t lose. Liars seem capable of doing anything, even if in the doing they’re really just delegating the responsibility to others (also known as leadership). Liars are often charismatic and undeniably creative – holding the truth in their heads even as they create an alternate reality. The truth is, we love liars.
What we don’t like is having the illusion shattered. And what we resent is not having enough power in our own lives or careers or cultures to be able to ward off the stress of lying.
For me? I love to play with a little fakery. It’s fun. You just have to know when honesty is more effective (because it’s such a surprise!), and less stressful.